Monday, November 4, 2013

It's Been Awhile.....

So, I lied.  I said I was back and then it was a year + before I returned.  Please insert an appropriate excuse here and don't judge.  I hope this return is more permanent but I really shouldn't make promises right now.  When I last posted we were preparing to celebrate William's 1st birthday, my oh my how things have changed in the past year!  William is now 2 and has a 2 month old little sister.  Let's do a quick recap of the past year and then we can move on to the real reason for my return......

1st birthday fun...

I'll summarize each month with a picture to catch us up...
October 2012 - watching Cowboy football in Ft. Smith with Becky and Jared
November 2012 - Thanksgiving in KS
December 2012 - William got to share his secret with family
January 2013 - Visiting family in KS
March 2013 - trip to Tanganika Park in Wichita with Emory and Bristyl
April 2013 - Aunt Mary and Uncle Andy get married!
May 2013 - Trip to KS for baby Elsie's birth
June 2013 - hanging out with Lauren and Bristyl at Gma and Gpa's
July 2013 - trip to Branson with the Raleigh Family
  July 2013 - Family Staycation at the Simmering Ranch
August 2013 - Clara Jean Simmering makes her grand entrance into the world
 September 2013 - Lots of cuddling with sister
September 2013 - William turns 2, we celebrated in Hesston with a hay rack ride and family time
 October 2013 - Painted pumpkins with Jacob and Rachel and we've continued to watch sister grow and grow!

So there you have it, and quick run through of the the last year.  I'll maybe get around to details about a few of the more major milestones we had during the year but I'm not sure when that will happen, so this will have to do for the time being.

Now, on to the sad truth.  I didn't honestly return to start blogging again.  I came to read a post I had written in December of 2011.  Here's the post I wrote about returning to work when William was 10 weeks old.  I've been thinking about returning to work for a LONG time now and Luke and I have come to an agreement that it may be the best decision for our family.  I went back to work last spring for 2 months to help out at a CPA firm during busy season.  I worked 30 hours a week and sent William to a great daycare near our house.  He loved it and cried when April 15 rolled around and he didn't get to go anymore.  I loved it, I got to interact with other adults on a regular basis, had a reason to shower and get dressed up each day and it gave me that accomplished feeling that I personally need from an external source.  

Now that Clara is here I struggle with this decision.  There are days I can't imagine being away from her and then there are those days when I know that a few hours apart would do our relationship some good.  Long story short I have an interview for a job that would be about as perfect as it can get.  It's at the community college here in Bentonville and would be 3 or 4 days in the office, working for an incredibly flexible boss. The best part is that it is a 2 year position, so if I go and decide it isn't for us I can resign or ride it out for 2 years, or if I love it I can be on the look out for something more permanent during the 2 year period.  I know that everyone I talk to says that guilt is just a feeling moms have to deal with and so I'm trying not to let it put a damper on my excitement.  I know that many of my mommy role models were/are working moms and that really helps me with this decision.  I know that each family has different situations and different needs and I think that for us as a unit it is best if I take this time for myself.  I've not discussed this with may people, it's so hard to not feel judged, my parent, sisters and Luke have all been super supportive and I hope that if all goes well and I do decide to go back that I can have the support and understanding of all of my important people.  Rereading my own post from 2 years ago what exactly what I needed today, it reminded me how I felt after returning to work post William and I just hope that I feel the same way this time around!

AH, that's enough on that subject for now.  I really do hope to be better about writing this all down.  I realized today just how therapeutic it can be to write it down and also to go back and read my thoughts on a subject!

Until next time!