#1

today was due date #1.  

I wasn't sure how to approach today.  I knew I would be sad, would feel a little empty - and it's true.  I do, I feel those things but I also felt very lucky this morning.  I wasn't expecting that at all.  I am SO lucky to have the husband that I have.  He is so comforting when I'm not doing so great.  He knows the right things to say when no one else does.  He isn't afraid to talk about the tough stuff - the stuff that scares away everyone else.

I fully expected to be pregnant by the time this day rolled around.  I'm not - and I'm learning to be okay with that.  I know how to focus on the good things in life, while still remembering the bad.  I've learned patience, or at least I'm trying.

I'm in a pretty good place today.  I didn't expect to be.  I expected myself to be a wreck.

Hopefully it won't be too much longer.